Bush Kerry Jr. has admitted that he doesn’t want to be president because he thinks it is too much work. When questioned, he responded by saying, “It takes away too much time from being with my friends!”  He claims that because he’s always traveling to different states to help out in the event of hurricanes, buildings and bridges falling apart, and the surfacing of new videos about attacks on the U.S, he has no time for leisure.

Last Tuesday, Bush Kerry jr. was stopped by the police for reckless driving, and was arrested for a DUI. That same day he was scheduled to give a live speech to the United States but instead decided to go out to a party and get drunk. U.S. citizens got extremely angry because they noticed that he isn’t taking his job seriously, so they decided to take over the  army,  secretly communicating through a national code that the mayors invented behind closed doors.  Mayor Daley Jr. of Chicago took most of the credit.  “It was all my idea. I knew something was going to go wrong when Bush Kerry Jr. was elected.”  The new code has since been adopted as the country’s second language.

Now, thankfully, the chaos has come to an end.  As a result of Bush Kerry’s attitude, the Citizen’s Government has approved a new law making it a crime for government officials to avoid their duties.  Bush Kerry Jr. was sentenced to jail and denounced for being the laziest president in history. A recent poll finds that most everyone one is happy because now they have elected a better president they count on. So far, the new president, John Kerry the II, seems to be trustworthy.

By Luis Ruiz